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The Ups and Downs

First I'd like to acknowledge that it has been a very long time since my last post; as with any road to recovery both physical and mental there are going to be days when you feel full of hope and excitement about what your future self is going to be like. You'll get excited every time you accomplish a personal goal that gets you to a place where you feel like you are reclaiming your mind from the darkness. However, there will also be the tough days.. the days when you are lucky to have the strength to brush your teeth at some point that day. The days when getting out of bed just seems impossible.. like if you are awake then everything hurts so I'll you are able to do is sleep. On these tough days, which can sometimes be weeks or even months long, I do my best to remind myself that it is ok to rest. That I can also find productivity in resting my mind and body, that every second of every day is a new one. I can at any point during those days say well I needed to rest so I may not have been able to address all the things I wanted to today but I can still do something.. even if that one thing is brushing your teeth, then immediately go back to bed.. lol Take that as a win!! because it is! That one act alone proves that you are stronger than the darkness.

I know better than to say that I'm actually going to be happy or feel accomplished that day just because I brushed my teeth, ate one healthy meal, or took out the trash.. it will take time and practice for this to be something to be proud of; at least for me it did. The last thing I want to do is be come complacent in my level of mental health journey just because I can now function enough to work or shower. I want to keep pushing myself on both the good and tough days to get mentally healthier, the reality is just like keeping your self physically healthy isn't always going to be fun and you my not always feel the motivation to do it, you may look at the scale and not see the weight loss you want to see right away. I want to be able to find the enjoyment in life not see it as sitting in a waiting room wait for death to finally call my name, I want to be grateful every morning that I wake up not disappointed, I want to fill this new life of mine with peace, serenity, and joy.

So let's keep getting up even if its just for a moment and push ourselves to do at least one thing for today, eat, shower do the laundry, meet up with a friend for pizza, or read a book.. every step you take is an accomplishment to be proud of.

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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I have spent the better part of 2024 in an intensive healing journey as well as learning more about myself. In an effort to help create a safe space for expressing myself and to encourage others on their own journeys to keep going. Please know that it is never too late to get to know your authentic self.

"To thine own self be true"

-William Shakespeare

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